I recently finished reading “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life” by Marilee Adams, a business fable that follows a leader struggling to grow, adapt, and lead his team more effectively. Through a simple yet powerful story, the book reveals how the questions we ask – of ourselves and others – shape our mindset, decisions, and results.

In this article, I’ll explore the key ideas from the book and how shifting from judging questions to learning questions can help you become a more effective leader.

Judging vs Learning

The central idea presented in the book is that you can have one of two mindsets: a judging mindset or a learning mindset. This lesson caused me to think carefully about my own approach to leadership and how it impacts my team.

When I reviewed my own approach to leading my team, I realized that I have been falling into a judging mindset. As a leader in a volunteer organization, it is harder for me to get my team members – who are volunteers – to follow through on what I ask them to do. Because of this, I was questioning my effectiveness as a leader because some of my team members have not been following through on their assignments. I was also blaming my team members for not following through on their responsibilities.

By questioning my leadership ability and blaming my team members for not producing the results I expected, I was stuck in a judging mindset. A judging mindset is one where you focus on the negative and blame yourself or others for mistakes or lack of progress. A judging mindset is not helpful. What I need to do is to have a learning mindset instead.

With a learning mindset, you ask questions to get to the root of the problems you are facing. Questions that are designed to help you to learn and improve. For example, instead of judging myself or my team members, I can ask questions to learn why my team members have not been able to follow through on the tasks I assign them.

Some questions I could ask myself to choose a learning mindset over a judging mindset could include:

• What can I do to understand the needs and capacity of my team members?
• How can I change to be more effective?
• What can I learn from this situation?

When you ask questions that help you to learn instead of finding someone to blame, you can often find solutions to the problems you are facing. For example, if I ask questions and learn that my team members don’t have a lot of time to commit to volunteering, I can make plans with my team members to identify how they can fit their volunteer responsibilities into their busy schedules.

Conclusion

“Change Your Questions, Change Your Life” is both insightful and practical, offering a powerful reminder that the questions we ask shape the results we experience. The book challenges readers to replace judging questions with learning questions – shifting from blame and self-criticism to curiosity, growth, and possibility. I strongly recommend not only reading it but intentionally applying its lessons in your daily life.

When you choose questions that help you learn, adapt, and improve – rather than judge yourself or others – you become a more effective and resilient leader. By embracing a learner mindset, you create space for growth, better decisions, and stronger teams. Lead with better questions, and you’ll lead with greater impact.